April Reading Wrap Up
I feel like I fit loads into April! I had two long weekends away which had been in the planning for a while. The first was staying with my partner’s parents and meeting many of her family members for the first time. And the second was visiting my best friend and her partner now they’re settled into their new home. Both trips were wonderful. I then ended the month giving a talk about being a changemaker at a Just Like Us event, in which I spoke about my LGBT+ inclusion work at the library as well as advocating for myself as a disabled person in the workplace. I’ve since received positive feedback from my presentation, and you can read the transcript of my talk on my blog.
Given I was quite busy, it’s unsurprising that reading took a bit of a backseat this month. But I did (slowly) get through a book I’ve been super keen to read: A Sign of Her Own by Sarah Marsh, a historical fiction story of a deaf woman and her experience as a student of Oralism. I also enjoyed discussing Love Expanded by Wren Burke, a relatively recent ace non-fiction, with my book club. This book covered so much and sparked much conversation at book club. Honestly, I originally wrote so much more in my review – there was so much that I loved – but I cut down my thoughts to fit the Instagram character count.
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A Sign of Her Own by Sarah Marsh ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a book I had been really wanting to read because it's a fictional depiction of Alexander Graham Bell's campaign for oralism over sign language in Deaf schools. It follows the character of Ellen in two timelines, one when she's a deaf pupil of Mr Bell's and then later when Mr Bell turns up on her doorstep wanting help with demonstrations of the telephone and visible speech.
Throughout the course of the book, she realises that she can experience more meaningful, deeper, freeing conversations and connections when using sign language and interacting with the Deaf community, and that Mr Bell is wrong in his pursuit that would go on to change the teaching of Deaf people for over a century.
"What I learned was that everything useful to survive and love in the world was taught to me by deaf people or people who saw their value."
I liked how the narration included some descriptions of both ASL and BSL signs, and gave a glimpse into what it's like to be deaf; to be expected to read lips and only really capture a fragment of a conversation.
"A snatch of information is what most people think I should be content with. And now he finds himself similarly mired in guesswork and doesn't like it one bit."
It was interesting but very slow paced. I also didn't feel the later timeline really added much to the story.
I want to continue reading books about Deaf culture and history, but unfortunately, this is not one I will be recommending to people for anything other than for that reason.
Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This was the sort of book I needed right now. A Sign of Her Own, my previous book, is one I'm happy to have read, but it was more serious and took me a while to get through. Instead, I sped through Delilah Green Doesn't Care and enjoyed doing so.
This is the first book in the Bright Falls trilogy. I read the second book, Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail, last summer. That book focusing on Astrid is one I highly recommend. For me, this one didn't quite meet that standard, but it was certainly interesting to see Astrid evolve throughout this story, which leads into the second book.
Delilah's story is about returning to Bright Falls for her estranged step-sister's wedding as the professional photographer. Delilah expects to be in and out, get paid, and then return to her life in New York, but instead finds a connection with her sister's best friends, including Claire, the romantic interest, and a feeling of wanting more from the place, and people, she grew up around.
In the end chapters, I feel Claire's ex and co-parent Josh should not have been forgiven so quickly, and Delilah's grand gesture - breaking into Claire's place of work - wouldn't sit right with me in real life. But as a fun sapphic romance, Delilah Green Doesn't Care is a perfectly pleasant book.
Love Expanded: How Asexuals and Aromantics Are Redefining Love, Life and Family by Wren Burke ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I actually read this book at the end of March, but it didn't feel right to post a review until after we'd discussed it at my ace book club.
The first thing I noticed with this book is that it doesn't start with an ace 101 or a list of definitions which was really refreshing. Instead the first chapter dives straight into an anecdote and then things are simply explained as they come up throughout the book. There are also plenty of stories being told here - from the author, their research, and interviewees - and the book has good flow, which I had me engaged.
I particularly liked the discussions around expanding our definitions of sex and intimacy, intersections with asexuality (including disability!), as well as the inclusion of structural issues and how laws often don't protect aces and aros, or other people living outside the romantic norms.
There were also concepts that were new to me or got me thinking. For example, the book talks about...
• Connections between being aroace and gender. Including a-specs presenting differently when they are no longer trying to be attractive to others, and feeling disconnected from gender and/or their body when romantic and sexual interactions are not there
• Broadening our definition of consent. How enthusiastic consent may not work in all scenarios. How those who don't feel sexual attraction may consent without desire, but then enjoy - and would enthusiastically consent to - the activity after it's been initiated by someone else ("willing consent")
• A sex worker revealing that half their job is clients that just need a hug, and how society has put sex on such a high pedestal that people think of sex when they actually want intimacy and closeness
Book club had mixed feelings about this book. Some people really liked it, while others felt it othered non-white aces by using clunky language at times, or that the book didn't go as deep into topics as they were hoping for. But I see this as a wonderful addition to the growing genre of ace non-fiction.